[Biblemat] Involvement with married man (question/answer)

[Don Martin]

In our Bible Questions work, we receive all manner of questions.
A percentage of questions are sexual in nature and for the most part,
I address these privately (not processed and assigned to one of the men).
The below question and answer is rather tame; therefore, I shall share
it with you.  This work fits right in with my avocation as an amateur
historian, as these questions from around the world are often indicative of
trends and practices.  In view of the sexual revolution, many continue to
ruin their lives with adultery and fornication.  Common sense and basic
morality have become scarce in some cases.  Consider the below too
often question we receive:


Hello Marie,

Thank you so much for your question and for making use of Bible
Questions. Please do so again. http://www.biblequestions.org  Please
check out Bible Truths http://www.bibletruths.net  Go to the archives
section of these sites  for material and also go to the archives search page
and type in any subject or word you wish to explore. New material is
constantly being added to both sites. Any help you can give us in telling
others of these sites will be greatly appreciated.

If you are interested in really learning more about the Bible, there is an
online Bible study course located in Bible Truths. While on the home
page, scroll down and enter.  While on the Map Site Page, click on
"Online Bible Study Course" in the table.  Click on
http://www.bibletruths.net
to go there.

You asked:

I am in love with a married man.We are the best of friends and are involved
in each other's daily life more so than he and his wife. If the sexual
relationship he and I have were to end can he and I remain friends?

Reply:

I believe I processed and assigned a question from you yesterday
pertaining  to adultery and the man to whom the question was assigned
should shortly provide an answer.  First, thank you for being concerned
about your actions and wanting to know what the Bible teaches.  I trust
that you will also act upon God's will in such matters.  First, I think you
already realize that you and this married man are committing adultery (you
are technically committing fornication).  He is bound to his wife, all
things equal and understood, and you have no right sexually to him or
even emotionally (Matt. 5: 32, 19: 9, I Cor. 7: 1f.).   No, in view of your
sexual involvement with this married man, you cannot simply stop this
relationship and continue "being friends."  Once the sexual is in place, one
does not simply become a friend in such matters.  I would urge you to
repent of your involvement with this man and place as much distance as
possible between the two of you. Continue to study and look to God for
strength to overcome this matter. Perhaps you would be interested in taking
the Online Bible Study Course mentioned in the second paragraph of this
email.  Keep in mind Paul's exhortation:  "Flee fornication" (I Cor. 6: 18).

Thanks again for your good question and for your interest in spiritual
matters. I recommend that you print out this email for future reference
(web addresses, etc.). You may print out any material you desire in both
Bible Questions and Bible Truths (see the copyright provision at the bottom
of the home page in Bible Truths).

Cordially,
Don Martin